Confrontation is always hard. Is there anybody who likes to confront another person? If you’re like me, my heart races, there’s an ache in my gut, and my mind plays over and over what was said or what should have been said. It’s torment.
In the instances where I have confronted a person or situation appropriately, it feels so good to have resolution. I feel so grown up and mature. I feel stronger and bit more like my true self.
So many times, however, I avoid confronting. I avoid it or do it badly. I want so desperately to say what’s on my mind, to feel heard and understood. I get so mad at myself when I let the moment pass. I will speak up……. next time.
Or, I need to do something equally hard- Confess and ask for forgiveness. Making myself vulnerable and say “I was wrong, I made a mistake. Please forgive me” is equally difficult. Sometimes we’d rather just forget it and let the whole thing pass.
But, that’s not right, is it?
To refuse to confront or to ask for forgiveness is to choose to stay childish and immature.
What keeps us from doing the hard thing?
There’s probably lots of explanations we could explore as to why we don’t want to confront.
The biggest reason, though, is fear.
Fear isn’t always the thing that goes bump in the night or the feeling that sticks with you after watching a scary movie.
Fear is the enemy’s strategy to keep you stuck in the same old unhealthy ways of thinking and behaving.
Fear is what keeps you from growing into the person God is calling you to be.
Fear is what grips you so that you’re so scared you won’t risk being vulnerable, so you won’t say what your heart is screaming.
Fear wants to keep you quiet. Keep you hiding. Keep you from being strong.
But, here’s the truth: God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self discipline. 2 Tim 1:7 (New Living Translation)
That gripping fear does not come from God.
God does want you scared. Jesus didn’t conquer death, hell and the grave so you would live a timid life.
The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead (Romans 8:11) lives in you, and He has given you all the power, love and self-discipline to say or do that hard thing.
Let’s break this down:
Power– physical power, force, might, ability (Biblehub.com). You’ve been given power through God’s ability to do this hard thing. God knows you can’t do this on your own. That’s why He’s given His power!
Love– Nothing can separate us from God’s love (Romans 8:38)- not even our fears for today or our worries for tomorrow…..that’s what the Bible says. God has given us His Love. Therefore, we can risk saying or doing that hard thing. Even if that person rejects you or is mad at you, retreat to into God’s arms because His Love for you will never end.
Self-discipline– Other translations say “self-control”, as in, the Fruit of the Spirit or a “sound mind”, as in, wise decisions. In other words, God’s Spirit allows you to tackle this hard thing without doing anything crazy or getting out of control. Being scared can make you do or say stupid things because you are reacting out of fear instead of responding by God’s Spirit. Hey, another thing……I like the version that says He’s given you a “sound mind”. In other words….you aren’t crazy. When you feel compelled to do this hard thing because you know it’s the right thing, fear will make you think you’re crazy. It’s all in your head, that’s not how it really is, you are crazy.
Shut up, fear, I’m in the driver’s seat now. Dear Enemy, I’m not gonna let you win.
Here’s the thing…..once we push through the fear and do the hard thing, the freedom that comes from the victory is amazing!!! The growth and maturity that results from your victory feels so good! And you’ll realize the freedom was worth pushing through the fear.
Armed with God’s Spirit, His power, love, and self-discipline, we can do ALL through Christ who gives us strength (Phil 4:13) when it’s time to do the hard thing!
Father, there’s this hard thing I need to do. I know when I do conquering it will make me stronger. But right now, the fear is screaming at me, holding me back, making me scared to try. Almighty God, through your Spirit, you have given me everything I need-power, love, and a sound mind to do this hard thing. Give me wisdom with the rights words and the right actions. Let me feel Your Love and to know you will never let me go no matter the outcome. Thank you, Father, for overwhelming victory through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen!
Hey Friend, I’m right there with you working on my own hard things. If you need some prayer or encouragement, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d love to pray with you. If you know someone who needs to hear this, please share this post!