I don’t need ministry anymore, and I’ve never been more fulfilled!!
Stay with me…..
Early on in my 20’s, I was such a zealous thing. I grew up in a family where our lives revolved around ministry, and I loved it! I was the good-girl, preacher’s kid who didn’t rebel. I wanted more than anything to sing, teach, volunteer….anything! I genuinely wanted to serve God in a real and effective way.
Looking back, though, I was also striving. Hard. I wanted so badly to prove how much I loved and was dedicated to God. I sincerely thought that if I did all the right things…especially ministry, I’d make Him happy with me. I hoped to do enough, to be enough, so I could be accepted enough.
As much as I loved ministry…I also needed it to prove myself acceptable. Somehow, people’s approval fueled my efforts and my need for affirmation. People’s approval equated God’s approval which also stirred the battle between insecurity and pride.
Slowly, but surely…..through years of learning how much God loves me and not needing to earn God’s approval, my perspective on ministry changed. I’ve grown into realizing that ministry is the fruit of what flows out of my relationship with God. Not the other way around! Ministry is the overflow of what God is doing in me, not what I can do to prove my faithfulness to Him.
I didn’t realize this maturing process was even happening. A few years ago, I was able to fill in for the worship leader at the church we had just began attending. She had experienced a personal tragedy and needed to take some time off from leading worship to recover. So, I was asked to fill in and was more than happy to do for her and the church. She was my friend, and I wanted to help her in any way I could. To my surprise, this temporary fill-in turned into a regular gig.
When this opportunity was laid before me, something very special became apparent….I didn’t need this ministry opportunity. I was excited and thrilled because I never thought I would get an opportunity like this! I thought my music days were over. But rather than this chance at ministry scratching some itch rooted in my ego or insecurity, or striving to make me more acceptable to God, it simply made me thankful to God that the door was open. Ministry could overflow! I didn’t need it anymore!!!
Do you feel like you serve in your ministry out of need or out of overflow? Are you so filled with God’s love that it flows out of you through the ways you serve?
Let Him fill you to overflowing!